I’ve decided to start a new blog, as blogging is what aspiring journos do, and the others are too embarrassing to be revisited. I have come to the realisation that journalists are like performing arts students in their constant search for approval and recognition from all and sundry, every Tom, Dick and Harry. Hoho. So this is my own attempt to grab at the straws of life to slurp for some juicy opportunity. In this vein, I have also revisited my Twitter account (begrudgingly..I used to call those who tweet twats or twits, then decided to see what all the fuss was about) and signed up for various other novel social network/blog type internet services, like the intriguing Plinky. The problem is, I can see myself getting bored of all of these “microblogging” tools rather quickly. What is Twitter but a scaled-down Facebook with less capacity for hardcore stalking sessions? Twitter is Facebook with ADHD; for those who demand an even more incessant connection to “friends” on the interwebs, an IV drip of its babble and banter. This lacks the blissfully creepy capabilities of Facebook; who doesn’t enjoy compulsively clicking through entire photo albums of the “friends’ you refused to be genuine friends with at school, to judge their drunken gurning or to condemn their poor life choices? Twitter is no match for Facebook when it comes to exposing idiocy, cock-up and scandal, which is what we all really want to see (hence the popularity of sites such as FailBlog, Lamebook and of YouTube memes such asthis). We all love to indulge in a bit of schadenfreude – a pretty dark concept, admittedly:
scha·den·freu·de
[shahd-n-froi-duh] satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune.
Evolutionarily speaking, this is probably a result of the influence of our “selfish” genes – I seek to succeed in life and reproduce, therefore any setback of yours is hilarious to me; including the times when you “take a tumble” like poor Scarlett from the video linked earlier, or if you’ve crashed your car and had your left thumb replaced with one of your big toes. Hahahaha, loser. As long as it’s not affecting me, I’ll have a good chuckle. Before you nice chaps crucify me, this is obviously not always the case – I do have sympathy for some, including Scarlett, even if I do find her tumble quite funny.
Back to my point. I don’t think Twitter has enough going for it to keep me interested – it seems to be just another platform for self-promotion and glorification, which is all fine and dandy (despite being a tad sickening) if you’re the kind with the wit and confidence to come out with something crazy and hilarious every two minutes. It’s an ongoing digital popularity contest – are you funny enough? KER-AY-ZEE enough? Spontaneous and sparkly enough? I don’t know if I am, but I might try to find out, at least for a week or so before I find Prison Break series 2 more interesting again. If you’ve read this it’s your duty to “follow” me; HERE. Please. I love you. And if you do I get to self-indulge and pretend to be a 21st century, digitally competent and eternally witty messiah, followed devotedly by you folk, my lowly disciples. In return I’ll miraculously turn your water into RIBENA and let you kiss the rings on my pudgy little fingers. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
I definitely agree with your comments about twitter. Surely just the annoying part of facebook without any exciting stalker advantages. I have tried to use it but I just get bored. I have never heard of Plinky but the name already offends me. I think I’ll leave that one to you.